With love, Death

They say that to be in love is as good as being in heaven. The most beautiful feeling ever. Making someone your life. Smiling away in their happiness despite your despair; your sorrow. To bring a smile on their face. To make them forget their tensions. Their grieves. To give them those few endless moments of extreme happiness. Is to be in love. When you become all dramatic and conclude to say that your heart is no longer yours, it’s been handed over to someone else. Like a gift neatly wrapped to be kept. To be taken care. To be loved. Forever and after.

Some say love is all about gifts. Expensive ones. Dates in fancy restaurants. Extravagant surprises. The more the merrier?

But why? Does love really mean that? Are the gifts really the treasures? What about those moments? Some agree. It’s the moments they embrace. Those special moments.  Holding hands secretly. Those ‘walk-till-the-door’s. Those talkative yet silent talks. Each and every moment. Cherished. Caressed.

But they all say that love never hurts.

But is that so?

To love someone endlessly but not to get that back. Does it not hurt? To see the person you love in the arms of someone else. Does it not make your heart cry? Making all those promises and then breaking them. Does it not break your heart? To get your heart broken. Does that not pain? All these things, don’t they make you lose hope? Hope. That thing that keeps you moving on in life with a smile. That thing that assures you a bright morning after a deadly night. That thing that gives you the confidence to face your problems rather than running away from them. That hope which after every defeat of yours makes you stronger and believe that every failure, every defeat is another step, another hurdle passed to your ultimate success. Hope. Faith. If all these are lost, then how? How is love a beautiful thing? How is it equivalent to heaven when it drops you to hell? How is it lovely when it makes your heart ache? How is it that ray of light, of happiness when it throws you into that suffocating darkness? How is it the reason to smile, to laugh when it snatches away that million dollar smile and replaces it with those puffy eyes and endless waterfalls? How is the reason for those twinkling eyes when it’s the reason for those lifeless ones? How? How, I will never understand. Perhaps I’ll never know the most beautiful way to kill oneself.

To love.

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